Do you ever wonder if you are a good parent? Do you ever question your parenting skills and the decisions you make concerning your children and their future? Knowing your child’s future correlates directly with your parenting skills can be overwhelming, right? I always question my role as a mother and as a parent. Mainly as a divorced parent, I second guess myself all the time. It would be ideal for both Dad and Mum to brainstorm and come up with great solutions regarding parenting, but that’s not always possible even in happily married homes.
Outside God, my kids are everything to me. Besides the fact that I am obsessed with my four sons, I am committed to raising focused, kind, sincere, hard-working, and, most importantly, God-fearing men. I wish there were a manual for this, but unfortunately, there isn’t. So how then do we learn to parent right and how do we know we are good parents.
I don’t know. I don’t know, so if you were reading, hoping for answers, sorry, but I don’t know. What I do know and why I decided to write this blog post is how to give parenting my best and leave God to do the rest. So here goes, tips that help you be a “giving your best” parent:–
- PURPOSE: It is vital to understand the role of a parent and understand God’s purpose for parents. Being a parent is a serious responsibility that should always be prioritized. Parents are expected to nurture, guide, support, and love God’s children. We study and research everything, and I think it’s worthwhile to read books on parenting, speak to experienced parents, attend seminars on parenting, and follow parenting bloggers (if on SM). I don’t like to assume that parenting is a natural instinct, I have learned so much about being a Mom, and I am still learning.
- BE INFORMED: Parents need to be adequately informed to support and advocate for their children. It helps to know the vision of your child’s school, understand the curriculum, and know more about the sports they play and so on. If your child shows interest in an activity, try and research it further. In situations I am unsure about my child’s, I link them up with an adult in that field. Being informed helps in being an effective parent.
- IT TAKES A VILLAGE: Single, Divorced, or Married; it helps to have a golden circle of people guiding you through your parenting journey. I am grateful for family and friends or even educators who walk me through situations, offer advice, or speak to my children in ways I am unable too. Sometimes, it hard to open up to folks when your child is doing poorly in school or acting up at home. Think about it, isn’t it better to tackle issues earlier than hide it. Bad behavior will definitely showcase publicly if not nipped in the bud.
- GOOD RELATIONSHIP: A good relationship with your child goes a long way. A good relationship includes being open and honest. This is where I struggle the most, trying to be the head but humbling myself to listen and consider their thoughts. It’s gotten more comfortable with practise, and it has helped my relationship with my sons. I don’t assume they will love and respect me because I am their biological mother; they will love and respect me because of the relationship I have established with them. Recently, my son hid a bad grade from me, and I found out through his teacher. Of course, I yelled and brought down the roof, but after my common sense kicked in, I spoke to him. I shared times when I struggled with schoolwork; it happens to the best of us. I am not one of those parents that paint a perfect picture of getting all As and telling my kids their father was my first boyfriend. Nahhhh …it’s best to keep it real and make your journey relatable.
- HAPPY HOME: Is your home a place where love, growth, and progress dwells? Is your home a happy place? Yeah, your children live there now, but if they had a choice, would they? Don’t be too quick to answer that question. Take your time and think about it? I love dinners when we all sit in the kitchen, laughing and telling jokes. I love it when everyone plays their fav songs, and we dance and make videos, I love road trips where we are stuck in a car and play silly games. I strive to create memories that will overshadow our not-so-merry moments and make our home the preferred place to be. Remember: the best toys and games don’t make a home cozy.
- PARENTS ARE ROLE MODELS: Be a good role model, be that person you want your child to be. My Nigerian people say, “Monkey no dey born goat” We can’t tell our children to behave in a certain way and be the exact opposite. We teach our children morals and values through our daily activities and not our words. It’s easier said than done, and if you have children with smart mouths, get ready. LOL! That’s why parenting is a big deal. You really can’t afford to live a life void of morals and values because your children are watching and watching closely.
- PRAYER: Pray without ceasing!!!! At the end of the day, it is all by God’s grace. This morning, DK3 and I went to drop DK 4 in his before-school program. DK 3 took him in, and as soon as he got into the car, he made the sign of the cross and said a short prayer. I knew it was for his little brother. That’s love, and as parents, that’s our feeling and duty 24/7. So yeah, I pray all the time. Not always in many words but merely asking God to take control and protect my babies.
Parenting is unpredictable as there are so many other external factors that affect our homes and sometimes are beyond our control. Personally, I try to give parenting my best and leave the rest to God. I remember when I attempted running away. My boys were acting up that day, and I was genuinely exhausted. So I grabbed my car keys, said goodbye, and started driving away. My two younger sons got emotional; the older two were a bit confused. I just was not in the mood, so I drove off. Five minutes of driving nowhere, I realized I had chicken baking in the oven, so yours truly humbled herself and drove back home. That’s the drill when you run a home – something will always bring you back. LOL